I can't believe that 2014 is over. I know that it's cliche, but time really does fly by fast. 2015 is finally here.
With a new year comes new opportunies for growth.
2014 has been a rollercoaster ride for me. The feeling of losing something that was/is important to me was painful (still hurting). I have lost loved ones and friendships. I realized that not even intangible things are permanent. There are just some broken things that cant be mended by the word "sorry". At the same time, the feeling of a new path ahead and new experiences has lifted up my spirit. The crazy yin-yang of life. Why do we have to hurt to learn?
On another thought,why do i have to be so damn emotional, empathetic at this time of the month? (gosh i hate being a woman sometimes)
After the passing of my grandma last October, i felt really shattered. Two months after, my grandpa joined her in paradise. I was devastated. Miserable. I was barely recovering from the pain, and i felt like i just took another bullet shot to the chest. How do you get up from being thrown down twice? I was lost.
I didn't feel motivated to do anything productive. I lost interest in working out, eating healthy, and going out of the house (cold weather and living far from family and jeff didn't help as well). All i wanted to do is lay down in my bed for hours, play videogames and be alone. I think this was the first time in a long time when i actually felt depressed about something. And i hated talking about it with someone because in my mind, i didn't want to bother my loved ones with such silly, indulgent conversation. In the process of fighting my own battles, I felt like I have pushed some people away. Those who wanted to care and who wanted to get me out of the trap that i have created myself. It sucked.
Anyways, i feel a little better now. Just like any wounds, my broken self needed time to heal.
I welcome the new year with new hopes for experiences that will help me become a better, stronger person. I might be taking baby steps, but atleast I am walking forward..
